


My Sunshine Mask

by rolee_z



Series: Solangelo One-Shots [2]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: Happy ending though, M/M, agnst, yet again stolen from my wattpad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2019-02-28 07:31:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13266666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rolee_z/pseuds/rolee_z
Summary: Yet Another Small Solangelo One-Shot Stolen From My Wattpad (@RonjaLee).





	My Sunshine Mask

**Author's Note:**

> Another Small One-Shot. Enjoy!

_Air. I need air._  
  
I walked out of the infirmary, guilt and grief weighing heavily on my shoulders. I couldn’t save him. He’s dead. Because of me, he’s dead. My feet were walking as if on their own, and even if you asked me, I couldn’t tell you where they were taking me. To late I realized there was someone in front of me, and I walked straight into them.  
      
    “ Wha-? Oh, Will. Hey.” It was Nico. Quickly, I put on my sunshine mask, a cheery, tired smile on my face.  
    “ Hey Neeks.”  
    “ Whats going on? Hows-”  
I let my smile drop a little. “ Dead.”  
    “ Oh… I’m so sorry…”  
My tired smile was back on my face. “ It’s okay. There was nothing we could do. The wound was too deep.” No. It’s not okay. He’s dead. Dead. DEAD.  
    “ When are you going to tell Eliza?”  
    “ Now…”  
Nico kissed me, and I kissed him back. I felt safe with him. Just for a moment. Then I straightened, and walked away, searching for Eliza. I found her outside the Apollo cabin, banging on the door.  
    “ Where is he?! WHATS GOING ON?” She yelled.  
    “ Eliza…” I laid my hand on her shoulder. She spun around.  
    “ Will! Will, they won’t tell me anything whats going on? Is he…?”  
    “ Eliza… I’m sorry… He’s gone.” she looked at me in disbelief.  
    “ No…”  
  
I nodded, looking down. “ The wound was too deep. I’m sorry.”  
    “ Sean… Sean no…”  
She dropped to her knees in front of me, then raised her head to the sky, tears streaming down her face.  
    “ WHY?! GODS, WHY?! MOTHER, HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?! HE WAS YOUR SON!” the child of Aphrodite yelled, shaking her fist at the heavens. Then she turned to me.  
    “ WHY DIDN’T YOU SAVE HIM?!”  
    “ Eliza…”  
  
    “ DON’T GIVE ME THAT CRAP!”  
She punched me in the gut. I doubled over in pain.

_Hit me. Kick me. I deserve it._

She looked down at me, hatred plastered across her face.  
    “ I’LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!” she yelled, then ran off towards the woods. I got shakily to my feet. Grief could do things to  person… terrible, terrible things. Eliza was a victim of that. Her twin, dead. I walked shakily back to the infirmary, once again putting on my mask. No one could see my grief. I was a doctor.

_Yeah, and doctors should be able to SAVE people._

Kayla was waiting by Sean’s bed, and his still body was covered by a white sheet.  
  
    “ We’ll prepare his body.” she said quietly. “ You should get some rest. You’ve had a tiring day.” I nodded wearily and headed back out to the Apollo cabin. As I entered, I check the clock on my bedside table. Six thirty three. How could it be six thirty three already? I stepped tiredly into the bathroom me and Austin shared. I needed a shower.

~<>~

After I had washed off and gotten dressed, I sat down on my bed. Carefully, from the bottom drawer of my bedside table, I drew out a small razor knife.  
  
I poised the knife against the back of my left hand and drove it in, drawing a small ‘X’ in my flesh. The cut was deep and the blood flowed freely onto my sheets. No matter. I would just tell Kayla and Austin I had accidentally left one of my work shirts on the bed. I relished the pain for a moment before it closed up, leaving a faint scar. I did it a few more times so the scar would be visible, a homage to Sean. All over the back of my hand, you could see similar marks. Each one was for a camper I hadn’t been able to save. The cutting couldn't kill me, but sometimes I wished it could. 

_I’m so sorry, Sean…_

I put the knife away, and slowly got up. As I walked out of the cabin, I saw Kayla and Austin. Kayla seemed to be crying, Austin comforting her. I rushed over to her.  
    “ Kayla, whats wrong?” I asked.  
    “ It’s E-Eliza…”  
Oh no… A terrible feeling settled upon me.  
    “ S-she’s dead… She drowned herself…”  
Internal pain racked me. I felt dizzy.  
Another Camper dead, all because of me…  
    “ Tell… Tell Chiron that I can’t be at the campfire tonight… I feel sick. I think I might have a cold.”  
Kayla looked worried.       
    “ It’s okay, it’s probably just from fatigue.”  
    “O- okay.” she said, nodding. I hugged her. Austin patted me on the back. His eyes were red. I walked back to the Apollo cabin.

Dead. Two campers… Dead. MY FAULT. _ALL MY FAULT._  
  
Once more, I drew out the knife. Another ‘X’. No. That wasn’t enough. I held out my left wrist and cut that, too. That wouldn’t heal as easily. Blood flowed freely onto my bed. It wouldn’t kill me, but it sure hurt like hell. Maybe... Maybe I could cut it deep enough that it WOULD kill me. Maybe I'd even get to go to the Fields of Asphodel. It would be so quite there... I wouldn't remember anything... It would be blissful. I was sobbing now, tears flowing like the blood, my whole body shaking. Not from the pain, but from the guilt. My shaking hands cut myself again and again. On the legs and arms. They usually healed within minutes. I didn’t notice the door creak open. I just felt someone yank the knife out of my hands and pull me close.  
    “ Will…”  
Nico. It was Nico’s voice. I sobbed freely into his shoulder, my bleeding arms wrapped tightly around him. He kissed the top of my head. He then got up from the bed for a second to get some bandages from the bathroom and wrapped up my bleeding wrists. It was a shoddy job, but it stopped the bleeding. Then he hugged me again, whispering to me.  
    “ It’s not your fault, Will. It’s not your fault.” then, “It’s okay, love. It’s okay. I’ll always be there for you.” he hugged me closer to him. I continued to cry into his shoulder. I had taken off my sunshine mask. I had taken it off in front of the one I most loved, and he had accepted me. I would never put on that thing again. Nico kissed my head. Here I felt safe. Here, with Nico. Quietly, I murmured into his shoulder.  
    “ I love you…”  
    “ I love you too.” 


End file.
